This year is quickly coming to an end… I am excited about the coming year and what it holds for me and my family. God has been doing a tremendous work in my life and that work has trickled down into all areas of my home. I don’t think I have ever been happier. I am learning to use my voice and communicate with the Hub about issues. It is a must, I know, and something that in the past I have never done. Avoidance was always the lesser of the two evils. However, the more avoidance I stuffed down, the sicker I became (mentally and physically). I can no longer stuff down things that bother me, but have been learning to put them into proper perspective and speak them in love. I hope to continue learning to do that in 2006.

When I created this journal, I also created another for my family site. More lighthearted, fun stuff that extended family can use. I started feeling that my feelings were being discussed among other family members, and not to me, so I wanted to seperate the two, you know…. There are somethings that family just need not know!!! No matter how good it is…heee. I wanted a place where I could come and share thoughts and feelings without feeling that judgement. I know family doesnt mean to judge, but all of us judge a bit, dont we.

Anyway, I cannot wait to get into a journaling groove. Things now are so “vacationish” with the kids home 24/7 and the husband in and out every hour, there is just no routine, no mementum, no time!!! And we all know that I need time. Plenty of time….

I came here thinking that I would post about 2006, what I wanted to personally accomplish, what my goals were, but of course I chattered about everything but that and as I sit here with the kiddo’s picking on each other I think now is the time to get up, get out of the house, get their blood circulating. So, I’ll be back later!

Well…. My new home. Home… Web-home… I upgraded to MT 3.2 this past week. Also to a new host and a new domain.

This makes blog/journal number six for me. Usually when I’ve changed journals I just delete the whole thing and start again, but this time I decided to import last year with me. It was a big growing year for me and I wanted to keep some of my thoughts and ideas close by.

I will be fiddling a little with this MT application as I learn version 3.2, but so far I am impressed! The install went smoothly, (as long as you read through the instructions, a few times, to get the feel of how MT set them up), and you have patience. I still need to personalize it, but that will have to wait until after the new year.

Speaking of which, I hope the new year is blessed. So, until the New Year.

I was thinking this morning that I should post. The holiday season is upon us and time keeps ticking away. The ick finally caught up to my house, well me anyway, and I have been fighting a terrible cold since last week.

Sister went to be with her dad again on Saturday. This is the third Christmas in a row that she has not been home. My heart is so sad this year, as she is getting older and I feel as though I have missed a part of her these past three years. Last night the tears came, which by the way, didnt help the congestion and throat, but I feel better after having talked to the Hub about my feelings.

I had to come clean that Christmas, at present, is not a joyous time for me. I don’t know when or how, but the “spirit” of the season seems lost. God has been doing such a tremendous healing in my life, and I know that this grief for the season, or season’s past, is part of the healing process for me. I must work through all the sadness, loneliness, and old feelings that defined what Christmas was to me, in order to find a new joy in it. I am grateful that I have a loving husband who I can share my thoughts with and who will pray for/with me that God’s healing and God’s nurturing will come and that the sweeping away of the old will bring a new joy for the future.

The biggest bright spot of the season is that Brother has gotten the Christmas spirit and shares it openly. He is so excited about it this year. From baking cookies, to putting the star on the tree, to going to get his special ornament for the year and sitting and looking at the lights, he is remembering bits of Christmas’ past, as he will see something familiar and will exclaim, “I remember that…” It truly is a joy to see his joy. Also, when ever he sees a Santa, he shouts out, “Look daddy, it’s you!” As the Hub has dressed up as Santa the past few years for charity and church events, so Brother thinks that he IS Santa…

I’m sure that this week will rush by in a blur, and I want to wish each of you who come here a very merry holiday season.